Day 50 of 2011

On January 1, 2011 my resolution, my goal, my desire, my plan…. whatever you want to call it was to have a deeper relationship with Christ in 2011. To seek Him more intimately, to grow in my faith, and to get to a place in my life that I would be so radically dependent on Him that He would do something so radical in my life that I could never do alone.

In summary, I wanted a Jesus year! The kind of Jesus year that Beth Moore describes in the bible study I started in January. She challenged us by saying that if you want to have that kind of year you are going to have to leave some stuff behind in order to get to a new place with Jesus, the kind of year that you quit being a control freak and you let Jesus do the driving and you sit back and enjoy the ride. She warned us to get prepared because with Jesus driving…not only would it be a wild ride, she promised it would not be boring. In fact if you are bored in any way – you are not in the will of God. Wow! Those words were exciting, maybe a little scary not knowing what is ahead but I was ready for my Jesus year! I was ready for my wild ride with Jesus! Or at least I thought I was ready…………….

The next week, I took a trip to the Florida with my family. We had a fabulous time on the beach. We ate delicious seafood, enjoyed the sights, swam, relaxed by the pool, and had great fun together. The weather was absolutely beautiful. In fact, we were so grateful that we were in Florida, because at that time, central Texas was going through one of its coldest spells of the year. We were all a little sad when it was time to pack up and come back home to the frigid weather. When we got back to the Austin airport we realized our luggage was lost and didn’t make it home with us. I stood in the airport waiting for the bags, my impatience quickly turned to frustration as the baggage carousel went round and round. But our bags never came and there was nothing we could do at that point except to go home and wait for our bags to be returned to us.

That evening, I was in my bathroom getting ready for bed. As I was still pouting about my bags, God spoke to me and said Gena you do not need one thing in that suitcase right now. Even if you had it, it is useless to you right now. That suitcase was filled with flip flops, swimsuits; sun dresses…all things you need on a beach vacation not a cold winter day. And just like that stuff in that suitcase you don’t need right now – there are some other things in your life that you don’t need either. If you want to take a wild ride with me this year you are going to have to get rid of some things. You don’t need all the material stuff, or the approval of others, you don’t need the false security that your job and money brings, and there are even some relationships that you are hanging on to that you don’t need. You and I can’t go on this wild ride together this year when you think you need all these other things. There is not enough room for that junk and me. All you need is me! All that junk belongs to someone you used to be. So upon that reminder, I dropped to my knees and confessed that yes, I had been hanging on to some junk along with unforgiveness, bitterness, fear, insecurities, and the list goes on and on…..But His grace is bigger than my sin. He will use our lives for his glory. I’m full of gratitude that He is my Redeemer!

Today I sit here almost 50 days into this 2011 Jesus year. I can say with all confidence that when I leave behind my junk and the things I think I “need”, when I stop weighing down the Jesus car with all my baggage, when I move over to the passenger side and let him drive……..oh how life gets so much better!! These past weeks have been so wonderful!! The places He has taken me, the people I have met, the beautiful scenery, the fun stops along the way, the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing my hair has all been indescribable!! And the best part is: Beth Moore was right. Riding with Jesus is NEVER BORING!!