Cookies and Friendship

Last night I hosted my favorite event of the year…a cookie exchange party.  This was the 16th year of celebrating the Christmas season with cookies and friends. But, this party is so much more than cookies. A reporter from the Austin American Statesman came to last year’s party and wrote a story about it. I believe she did a good job of trying to explain that the party is more than just cookies. But, even so, I felt like she missed something. Something that is hard for even  me to put in words because I am overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude.....I will try to explain.

I am not good at showing  people how much I love them. In fact, I am really bad at it.  I don’t give cards or  write thank you notes. I forget birthdays. My friends joke that until recently I didn’t even know how to give a decent hug. If there was one thing that I wish I was better at it would be in this area. I want to be better at  expresing appreciation, to extending grace, and admiration. I want to be more generous with my time and resources to my friends. I want to be bold enough to speak out and eloquently convey how much I am blessed by their friendship. I am a work in process......

But, I can cook pretty well. So one night of the year, I prepare a meal, bake a few cookies, clean my house and welcome old and new friends to my home. Last night as we gathered in my dining room to exhange our cookies,  I looked around at each of the women and I was reminded of the bible verse: 

 Philippians 1:3….”Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.”

God brought each of these women into my life. He handpicked each one of these beautiful ladies to be my friend.  I love these women so much. Each one is picture of God’s faithfulness. Through the years, this group of women has experienced life together. We have rejoiced at the births of children and grandchildren. We have celebrated new marriages, new jobs, graduations and successes. But, we have also grieved together over the loss of husbands. We have buried children together; we have suffered together through illness, through financial hardships and heartbreak.  We have been together through good times and not so good times. But, in all of that God never left our side. Last night, I was also reminded of those women that were not there for various reasons. Even in their absence, they are so very  special to me and I longed for them to be in at that room. I celebrated that God sent new friends last night, some that I met for the very first time. I believe it was a promise to me that there is still good times to come, new friendships, and new memories to be made.  And through it all….He is faithful. He works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.....including friendships. 

I know this small guesture of hospitality can not begin to convey how much I love and cherish my friends.  It all seems so inadequate…even this silly blog post. But my prayer and hope is that my actions and even something as simple as hosting a cookie party will reflect my gratitude and love , to not only to my Lord and Savior who has blessed me with dear friends....but also to those sweet dear friends. I love them all so much!

Happy Birthday Kody

As you can tell I haven’t blogged in awhile. Not much time for blogging when so much is going on. It’s been a busy summer filled with traveling, visiting friends and hanging out with my kids. This is how I have spent all my summers since I became a mother...including the summer of 1997.  My daughters were 8 and 9 years old. Our family had done so many cool things during our vacation from school and work.  It was such a fun age for the girls and I was enjoying motherhood at it’s finest.  Although I can’t remember exactly what I was doing on July 19, 1997, I'm guessing I  was probably at the pool with the girls. After swimming we may have had a snow cone, maybe we went to park. I’m not sure. But, I know I was not thinking about a baby boy being born in a small West Texas hospital.  I didn’t know then and wouldn’t know until several years later how the birth of this child would change my life forever. But, God did. And honestly that fact brings me to my knees. God knew before the foundation of the earth that I would be the mother of 3 beautiful children. This boy born on July 19, 1997…. 14 years ago today was mine and God’s plan to get him in my arms was perfect. Sure there were difficult times, a journey that was so hard at times; honestly I didn’t believe I would make it, full of heartache, pain, and more tears shed in those years that I ever thought possible. (Definitely another blog post) But, God’s timing was perfect and the way He brought our son to us was perfect.

Jeff and I were so excited when I was pregnant the first time. We were looking forward to having a baby.  We did all the normal things parents do and including a sonogram.   Twenty-three years ago sonograms were not as reliable as they are now. After our sonogram, the doctor told us to expect a boy.  We were thrilled and convinced that Mason Lee would be our first son. I still have the adorable cross-stitched picture that I finished the night before I went into labor…..“Mason’s Room” . It was just waiting to be hung on the wall when we brought our baby boy home. But, God blessed us with an adorable baby girl, Kayla Ann. This beautiful daughter could not have brought us more joy. She was a reminder that God is in control and not us. 18 months later, God reminded us again and blessed us with another daughter, Krista Jane. It may be hard to believe, but there were no more conversations about trying again for a boy.  Our family was complete and we were happy and content with our complete family.  There was a peace among us that God knew best. But, His best is better than our best. It makes me smile just thinking back all during those years and even  though we didn’t know - God had a wonderful surprise for us.

Kody Lee Carter came into our life summer of 2000.  The girls met him at Vacation Bible School and came home saying we should adopt him...which might have been a nice idea, but at the time he was not up for adoption.  One year later, we received a call that began a journey that changed our lives. The adoption process could begin.  It took another year before he joined our family and 3 more years before he was ours in the eyes of the courts. But on this summer day - July 19, 2011…my heart is overflowing with gratitude to a loving God that is sovereign and has a plan for my life that is better than anything I could have imagined.

Happy Birthday  Kody Lee Carter! I love you more than words cans describe!  

The Beauty of the Cross

For over a week now, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I believed my heart could just about burst at any time. The past 10 days have been a plethora of emotions.  Oh yes, there have been good times....very good times. Memories and experiences I will cherish forever. But  mixed in with that joy and happiness has been a mixture of shock, grief, confusion and sadness. All the details are for another time....but it has been a week of soul searching and reflection.  

This morning I saw the picture below. Eleven days of bottled emotions came out and the ugly cry came....yes you know the one....so many emotions, feelings and uncontrolled tears. But during that cry, God allowed the words of one of my favorite songs come flooding into my soul....and a peace that I can not begin to describe....

"At the cross I find the beauty of your matchless grace. At the cross I see a king who died to take my place. It's the moment that you made me clean and pardoned my soul. Amazing grace that I would be allowed unto your throne. Not by my will but solely by your will alone. I am unworthy of this love you have shown to me. I see my desperate need. 

The beauty of the cross is that there's one who has redeemed my soul. The beauty of the cross is that I'm finally free and letting go . The beauty of the cross has found me just as I am.

Not by my own work that I may boast or I may come, but simply through your son the sinless and exalted one. Only through the cross that I'm made clean to draw near to you. Saved that you would receive all glory due your name Everlasting God.

From age to age You never change.

A true love story remains for all eternity that all the world would see...... that's 

THE BEAUTY OF THE CROSS.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea..."  Psalm 46:1-2

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away."  Revelation 21:4

Reflections From The Weekend

This past weekend I attended a ladies retreat with my church. I had been looking forward to it for months.  Retreats, like summer youth camp are unique experiences. You go to a different location, usually on the lake or river,  leave your day to day commitments and sleep in bunk bed. (or actually just lay in the the bed cause not much sleeping goes on) Days are filled with fun activities, hanging out with friends, eating junk food and story telling way into the night. The best part of the camp/retreat is the opportunity for worship, focusing on the Lord and listening to what God wants to reveal to  you. Through the years, I have left these camps and retreats on a spiritual high.  I am excited to get back home and  to tell  everyone what I  learned and share all that I experienced. I have used word like: awesome, super, and great to describe it.  

But this time it is a little  different for me. I don't have a desire to tell the world all the details going through my head about this weekend. Maybe it is  fear that people will not share my enthusiasm or even  make fun of me for being so emotional  and being a "Jesus freak". Maybe, it is just selfishness or pride. But I hope part of it is maturity.

Sure, the weekend was awesome, super, great.....but those words seem so simple an inadequate   to describe the work God did in my life this weekend. God  did speak to me in a mighty way and what he told me was life changing stuff.... so beautiful,  so special, so unique, so intimate....it  is just between me and God. He revealed some deep truths and honestly, I am still trying to process it all.    I know one one day I may share some  details. But for a little longer, I don't want to come down from this spiritual high. I also don't want to simplify  the experience by describing it as just a cool, great weekend. I want to savor every moment of it. I am desperate to press  these truths into my heart so deep that I will never forget them. I want to remember this weekend as a cherished gift from my Lord. Our God is a giver and has an abundance of gifts He wants to give all of us.  And like all God gifts, when we accept them... everything changes.......  

" ...but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23
 

Love One Another

I read a quote today that really got me thinking.........

Lie = If people really knew you, they wouldn't love you.
Truth = If people really knew you, they could really love you.

I believe this quote can be applied in our lives is a couple of different ways. But, the more I thought about it the thing that began to stand out was that God knows me better than anyone and HE knows......

Sometimes, I act like a brat. Sometimes, I pout and whine. Sometimes I throw gigantic pity parties for myself. Sometimes, I’m rude to my husband. Sometimes I’m rude to my kids. Sometimes I am rude to my friends. Sometimes, I am rude to strangers.   Sometimes, I feel like skipping church. Sometimes I worry and stress over all that I have to do.  Sometimes, I'm selfish with my time and my resources. Sometimes, I ‘m lazy and don’t do my job very well. Sometimes I overreact and make a big deal out of something stupid. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes, I cuss.  Sometimes I am a very poor reflection of Christ.  Sometimes I need to ask for forgiveness. (Okay a lot of times) and lots of times I need to forgive. The list goes on and on........ In so many ways I am a mess. A big fat mess that makes so many mistakes, and I'm sure makes some people wish they didn't know me. 

 Satan and the world would want  for me to believe that I’ve messed up too many times before, that my actions prove I’m a crazy nut, hypocrite, or  I don’t really have it in me to be the woman of God I desperately want to be. But when I stop long enough to get out of my woe is me moments, and truly be still and listen to God…..He talks. He longs for me and all of us to understand He loves us in our humanity….our imperfect, flawed humanity. He loves me even as a repeat offender as much today as the day I was born. God doesn’t see my sin and my mistakes when he looks at me he sees me as I really am: CHOSEN, FORGIVEN AND LOVED.

Which makes me full of gratitude and awe that He can love me so much even when I am such a mess. This fact makes me want to strive harder to have my actions and life glorify HIM in all that I do. Accepting His  perfect love also challenges me to be more like HIM. I want that passion to care about others. I want to really know people, to extend grace, mercy and forgiveness. But, I especially want the desire to love them like HE loves me. 

Oh, how our lives and our world would change if we really loved like Jesus loves....

"....Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another...people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.." John 13:34-35

Bloom Where You Are Planted....My "official" Chamber of Commerce speech

My absolute favorite season is spring. Spring is a time of optimism, the promise of all things new, and it’s the most beautiful time of the year! Some of my favorite places in Elgin are the Adopt A Spot landscaping projects that local organizations and businesses are maintaining. It amazes me how it seems there is always something blooming!  

Which got me to thinking……….what if we all bloomed where we are planted? We all live in Elgin for different reasons, some of us grew up here and never left and others moved here because of our jobs or families……… but whatever the reason we are here,  we all have the opportunity to make a difference in our community and make Elgin a better place to live.

I am reminded of the story that many years ago there was a group of ladies whose goal was to make Elgin the Crepe Myrtle Capitol of America.  They planted hundreds of trees in Elgin parks and public spaces. Now I’m not sure if the title was really their motivation or they just wanted to beautify Elgin, but either way through their actions of planting crepe myrtle trees around our city it has left Elginites with so much beauty to enjoy. But most of all they left us with the inspiration that things we do today can make a difference in the future.

Your calling might not be to plant trees, but you can plant imagination and creativity in a child’s mind by being a storyteller at the Library, or volunteering at your child’s school. Perhaps you can plant ideas as a member of the many boards and commissions that help develop policy for our city. The city council is always looking for interested people to serve in these areas. Maybe you are blessed with a compassion for those less fortunate and want to help at the Community Food Pantry, Advocacy Outreach, Relay For Life, or Elgin Caregivers an organization that offers transportation to the elderly for doctor appointments. There are many worthy organizations in our community that would welcome your volunteer service.

I realize sometimes it is easier to just not get involved. We all have legitimate reasons why we can’t commit the time or energy.  But one thing I know for sure, we all can make a difference. We are all blessed with talents and skills that we can use to make Elgin a better place to live - not only now but for generations!

This spring, bloom where you are planted! 

My Bible Study Group Friends

I love my Bible study group! Every Monday I get to spend it with some incredible women. As I looked around the room last night, I started to get a little weepy. This group of women have come to mean so much to me. They have filled a place in my heart that I didn't even realize needed to be filled. They encourage me to study scriptures more intensely, they inspire me to love extravagantly, to forgive more freely, and live more faithfully.

 The most crazy thing, most of these women in this room I didn't even know this time last year! Yep, they were not even on my radar. Sure,I'll admit  I "knew of" some of these ladies, but I didn't really know them until the last 6 months. Even those ladies I did know and would consider friends....the friendship has just gotten so much sweeter these past few months.

That fact amazes me....How God will bring people in our lives for a purpose. How He uses our past and present circumstances to bring glory to Him.   I have no idea what God has planned for me in the future. But with any journey there will be some sadness and joy, love and heartbreak. There will be strangers that will become friends and friends who will become strangers. But all of it is in His hands. So here is to Zion and to a God that loves me and is weaving a beautiful story - my story -  that is simply wonderfully unfathomable!

The Invitation

A certain man gave a great dinner and invited many. When the dinner was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests. But they all began making excuses..... Luke 14: 17-18

The "Great Banquet Parable" is one of my favorite parables that Jesus taught. I like it for so many reasons. It is filled with numerous life lessons. Of course the most important being the invitation to join God's banquet table. But one thing that always struck me as interesting was the people who made excuses when they received the invitation. They went to great extremes to make up a reason why they could not attend the dinner. Or perhaps, they wanted to attend but they let other things get in the way.

This week Jeff and I were invited to dinner by a couple we both knew. The invitation came as somewhat of a surprise. Although we knew this couple on a professional level, I would say we were not close friends at all. Not that we wouldn't want to be friends, we just never had an opportunity to socialize with them outside of work commitments. I admire both of these individuals immensely. They are brilliant, highly educated people, who have achieved much success. I would say they are even considered "famous" in their respected educational and professional fields. To say I was a little intimated by them would be an understatement. So when we got the invitation I immediately began to think of excuses why I couldn't go. First, I didn't want to give up my only free evening of the week to have dinner with someone where I might feel uncomfortable. My schedule is a little crazy now with other commitments and I need that free evening to catch up on household chores. Then my insecurities started in overdrive...."what would we talk about? Their life experiences, numerous college degrees, and accomplishments made me feel so inadequate to even carry on a conversation. Then I wondered why they would even want to have dinner with me? What was the real reason? Do they want something from us? What is up?" .....Gena, always the skeptic....

But, finally we decided we would go. It would be rude to turn down the invitation and honestly throughout the week, I really felt God wanted us to attend this dinner.

So we went........and it was delightful! It ended up being one of the nicest evenings we have had in a long time. The couple was so hospitable. They went above and beyond to welcome us. I discovered they were even more wonderful than I thought and they were fun! The wife had prepared a lovely dinner. The food was an ethnic dish that I had never tasted and it was delicious! After dinner we continued to visit over dessert and coffee. We stayed much later than we thought we would talking about travel, politics, economy, education, family, and Jesus. We were able to share about our faith and they shared their faith. We were encouraged and inspired by their testimony. All and all... It was a great evening and it was just so much fun! We left feeling a little cheated that we hadn't got to know them sooner.

Which got me thinking, how many other times have I let my insecurities, my selfishness, my stubbornness stand in the way of something that God was calling me to do? How many times did God want to use me in a situation and I refused to be used. Or maybe it was something different. How many times did God not want me to do anything... He just wanted to bless me and show favor and just have a lovely evening of sweet fellowship with friends.....I know it has been to many to count. I'm so grateful we serve a God that continues to extend His love and grace to His children.

Oh Dear Lord, next time I give excuses about something you are calling me to do, remind me, if I will just be obedient to your invitation....... You will bless me more than I can even imagine.


"What a blessing it will be to attend a banquet in the kingdom of God" . Luke 14: 15

The Author Of My Story

God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before Him.
When I got my act together,
He gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways He works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
And I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
When I opened the book of my heart to His eyes.

Psalm 18:20-24 The Message

I am so grateful that God is the author of a beautiful story for my life. I am so grateful for His love and grace. May the book of my heart always be opened to HIS eyes.

Day 50 of 2011

On January 1, 2011 my resolution, my goal, my desire, my plan…. whatever you want to call it was to have a deeper relationship with Christ in 2011. To seek Him more intimately, to grow in my faith, and to get to a place in my life that I would be so radically dependent on Him that He would do something so radical in my life that I could never do alone.

In summary, I wanted a Jesus year! The kind of Jesus year that Beth Moore describes in the bible study I started in January. She challenged us by saying that if you want to have that kind of year you are going to have to leave some stuff behind in order to get to a new place with Jesus, the kind of year that you quit being a control freak and you let Jesus do the driving and you sit back and enjoy the ride. She warned us to get prepared because with Jesus driving…not only would it be a wild ride, she promised it would not be boring. In fact if you are bored in any way – you are not in the will of God. Wow! Those words were exciting, maybe a little scary not knowing what is ahead but I was ready for my Jesus year! I was ready for my wild ride with Jesus! Or at least I thought I was ready…………….

The next week, I took a trip to the Florida with my family. We had a fabulous time on the beach. We ate delicious seafood, enjoyed the sights, swam, relaxed by the pool, and had great fun together. The weather was absolutely beautiful. In fact, we were so grateful that we were in Florida, because at that time, central Texas was going through one of its coldest spells of the year. We were all a little sad when it was time to pack up and come back home to the frigid weather. When we got back to the Austin airport we realized our luggage was lost and didn’t make it home with us. I stood in the airport waiting for the bags, my impatience quickly turned to frustration as the baggage carousel went round and round. But our bags never came and there was nothing we could do at that point except to go home and wait for our bags to be returned to us.

That evening, I was in my bathroom getting ready for bed. As I was still pouting about my bags, God spoke to me and said Gena you do not need one thing in that suitcase right now. Even if you had it, it is useless to you right now. That suitcase was filled with flip flops, swimsuits; sun dresses…all things you need on a beach vacation not a cold winter day. And just like that stuff in that suitcase you don’t need right now – there are some other things in your life that you don’t need either. If you want to take a wild ride with me this year you are going to have to get rid of some things. You don’t need all the material stuff, or the approval of others, you don’t need the false security that your job and money brings, and there are even some relationships that you are hanging on to that you don’t need. You and I can’t go on this wild ride together this year when you think you need all these other things. There is not enough room for that junk and me. All you need is me! All that junk belongs to someone you used to be. So upon that reminder, I dropped to my knees and confessed that yes, I had been hanging on to some junk along with unforgiveness, bitterness, fear, insecurities, and the list goes on and on…..But His grace is bigger than my sin. He will use our lives for his glory. I’m full of gratitude that He is my Redeemer!

Today I sit here almost 50 days into this 2011 Jesus year. I can say with all confidence that when I leave behind my junk and the things I think I “need”, when I stop weighing down the Jesus car with all my baggage, when I move over to the passenger side and let him drive……..oh how life gets so much better!! These past weeks have been so wonderful!! The places He has taken me, the people I have met, the beautiful scenery, the fun stops along the way, the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing my hair has all been indescribable!! And the best part is: Beth Moore was right. Riding with Jesus is NEVER BORING!!

Welcome to my blog!

Hello! It is official...I'm going to try blogging. Through the years I have blogged a little... mostly in my mind. Occassionly I would write down my thoughts on another blog I had. But mostly my blogging consists of reading other people's blogs. In fact, I believe some people would even call me a blog stalker! I do enjoy a good blog! So, I will attempt to blog. We will see how long I stick with it. It is hard to come up with something creative. I have a hard time coming up with a facebook status on most days. So, we will see how this goes.....